Looka Here

I often contemplate what I must believe about myself to arrive at whatever point I find myself. I have come up with any variety of answers at any given time. Even now, I hold beliefs about myself that have only become evident from observing my present environment. For example I came from the gym at 2am and showered and got in bed. When I looked around I saw my room looked like I had gotten into a fight with the retail fairy. Clothes EVERYWHERE.

I had to laugh aloud. My time working out reflects, among other things, that I value my appearance and effort. My room says the exact opposite. This dichotomy also speaks to the beliefs I am expressing. In other words as within, so without. Evidently there's conflict. So I sat myself down and began the peace talks. They are still in progress. But then again that's how a process works.

And , oh yes! If you ask me about some random discomfort that comes from the tug of war within; I will give you the standard answer "Trust the Process" Which is exponentially easier said than done. Mainly because our moment of greatest possible are are often our moments of greatest uncertainty and if you're anything like the billions of people that grew up in a capitalist society uncertainty equals despair. But what often passes for security is just the opposite. There is no security without Self. It is within. Which, incidentally, is where the conversation takes place. And also where our questions are answers. In the kingdom of Heaven, within.

So take a breath with me and take courage. Stay in it. Don't turn your face away before you behold grace. Know that it is God's pleasure to give you the kingdom. Don't be afraid. Remember God loves you and I love you, but it doesn't mean anything if you don't love yourself.