I have recently been reminded of what I am fighting for. I believe that the fight, If you want to call it that, takes place within. It is a struggle to have the divine ideas we are blessed with inspire us to action inspite of any fear or inhibitions we may have. We are challenged to have the presence of mind to remember who we are and take steps in fulfillment of our destiny. While our lives unfold and we become more our true selves - In the image and likeness of God- we become increasingly aware of our true power. And we are called to stand in our power. There are people in our lives who aid us in this process.
Our first thought of the people who help us most in this process may be ministers, counselors, teachers, maybe even Oprah. For me, these people have all played a significant role in my spiritual growth. But the real 'blood and bone' work has come from more intimate relationships. Lovers, friends, family, and ex's. I have learned my greatest lessons from moments that looked like I risked it all and fell flat on my face. Those things that I did in the name of love and Love began to reveal it's self to me, through me. I have come closer the center of the universe, closer to Source, closer to God, closer to Self by moving in the direction that my heart has. My soul knows what it needs. I have only to express a willingness to experience whatever is necessary for my soul to get what it needs. In short, step out on faith.
With time alone to contemplate the qualities of God and feel them from the inside out, an indescribable feeling comes over me that my life is the life of God. We are emissaries, if you will, of God. How can we fail? Well I guess if we are intent on failure, we can use our power to project failure onto whatever occurs in our lives. Another option is to accept where we are right now as divine order, stand in the power of who we are by creation, and choose what we will do next. Wherever we are God is, we cannot be alone.
I was laying across the bed crying the other day. If you had walked in my room you would have thought someone close to me had died. Well, you would have been right. I can almost laugh about it now but it was a part of me that passed away. I am glad to have an end to the suffering. I was hanging on to thoughts and habits that were not working for me. I had even started to define myself by these thoughts and habits so I made them part of me. I had been experiencing great discomfort in my emotions and in my body and as I sat with what I was feeling I could see where it was coming from and love myself enough to let it go. In the word of Cee-lo Green "I feel better, even a little is better..."
Take a breath....this the prayer that keeps me moving forward. It is short and simple and it "goes in" as my sister would say:
Divine Spirit within blesses me with the courage to break any remaining agreements with mediocrity and choose God in every moment.
May you be blessed and transformed. May the sweetness of life wrap around you and keep you smiling from your heart. May love come to you in everyway that you know and ways that you have not yet imagined. May you stand in you power and choose peace.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Looka Here
I often contemplate what I must believe about myself to arrive at whatever point I find myself. I have come up with any variety of answers at any given time. Even now, I hold beliefs about myself that have only become evident from observing my present environment. For example I came from the gym at 2am and showered and got in bed. When I looked around I saw my room looked like I had gotten into a fight with the retail fairy. Clothes EVERYWHERE.
I had to laugh aloud. My time working out reflects, among other things, that I value my appearance and effort. My room says the exact opposite. This dichotomy also speaks to the beliefs I am expressing. In other words as within, so without. Evidently there's conflict. So I sat myself down and began the peace talks. They are still in progress. But then again that's how a process works.
And , oh yes! If you ask me about some random discomfort that comes from the tug of war within; I will give you the standard answer "Trust the Process" Which is exponentially easier said than done. Mainly because our moment of greatest possible are are often our moments of greatest uncertainty and if you're anything like the billions of people that grew up in a capitalist society uncertainty equals despair. But what often passes for security is just the opposite. There is no security without Self. It is within. Which, incidentally, is where the conversation takes place. And also where our questions are answers. In the kingdom of Heaven, within.
So take a breath with me and take courage. Stay in it. Don't turn your face away before you behold grace. Know that it is God's pleasure to give you the kingdom. Don't be afraid. Remember God loves you and I love you, but it doesn't mean anything if you don't love yourself.
I had to laugh aloud. My time working out reflects, among other things, that I value my appearance and effort. My room says the exact opposite. This dichotomy also speaks to the beliefs I am expressing. In other words as within, so without. Evidently there's conflict. So I sat myself down and began the peace talks. They are still in progress. But then again that's how a process works.
And , oh yes! If you ask me about some random discomfort that comes from the tug of war within; I will give you the standard answer "Trust the Process" Which is exponentially easier said than done. Mainly because our moment of greatest possible are are often our moments of greatest uncertainty and if you're anything like the billions of people that grew up in a capitalist society uncertainty equals despair. But what often passes for security is just the opposite. There is no security without Self. It is within. Which, incidentally, is where the conversation takes place. And also where our questions are answers. In the kingdom of Heaven, within.
So take a breath with me and take courage. Stay in it. Don't turn your face away before you behold grace. Know that it is God's pleasure to give you the kingdom. Don't be afraid. Remember God loves you and I love you, but it doesn't mean anything if you don't love yourself.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Trying to Get it Right
"The reason why don't seem to get it right, Is that timing is improved exponentially by the amount if it that we are still. And still I struggle with it like it's work and not surrender..."
What does it really mean to try and why do we say we are "trying." Why do we do that which we call "trying"?
Just the thought of it, feels somehow counterproductive. It seems as if we are factoring in failure when we "try."
I remember taking the Landmark Forum some years ago and although I don't remember the context I do remember being advised to remove the words can't and try from my vocabulary. And for some time I did. But as with any practice that has been repeated without mindfulness of the understanding or principle driving that practice I soon reverted to the old and more popular behavior of occasionally describing myself as trying. I have recently noticed in conversation I have said I was planning to try.
I am again seeing the challenge with constant trying. The act of trying is different than doing or not doing or else we would say I going to do...or not do this or that. When we say we are "going to try" to do...or not to do this or that we are acknowledging that we are struggling with it occurring or not occurring. In truth things actually happen or they do not so we are not commenting on whether or not we are going to do it, we are commenting on our perception. We are commenting on our willingness to deal with reality. We are not poised for success if we are not willing to deal with the reality of a thing. The reality is that we will do a thing or not do a thing and we will or will not be successful.
Needless to say I will again remove the word "try" from my vocabulary. But here's the thing that also need be adjusted; When I am talking about what is happening with me I will begin to choose to tell those things that I am actually doing. More than that I will be doing the thing right before me. There is something to be said for not telling everybody everything, I guess my grandmother was right(Along with Neville and several other New Age gurus). When you are talking about your vision for yourself many times you are dissipating it's clarity by factoring in other's responses. There is however a next action that you must take to get to where you are headed and whether it's a photo shoot or holding the space you are either doing it or you are not.
Imagine that the person you are talking to about your vision for yourself is there to help you with being successful in completing the next action for you to take and you're going on and on about how you're trying to hit the mark right on. Suddenly they are looking at you to see that you have your bow and arrow in hand, or they begin to ask you questions to determine if you know more than them about where the target is located.
You must see that knowing how to do something is not a prerequisite for being called to do it. Yours and other's assesment of your ability to do something does not determine your worthiness. If you don't believe me ask Moses. Or, if the bible's not your thing just think to yourself what you grew up believing one would have to be to become president of the United States and honestly compare that with who Barack Obama is.
The most important thing in our lives is to move toward the vision God has given us for our lives, with confidence. Because as long as there is breath in our bodies we can rest assured that there is still the possibility of it being our manifest reality. Yes we can.(do more than try)
What does it really mean to try and why do we say we are "trying." Why do we do that which we call "trying"?
Just the thought of it, feels somehow counterproductive. It seems as if we are factoring in failure when we "try."
I remember taking the Landmark Forum some years ago and although I don't remember the context I do remember being advised to remove the words can't and try from my vocabulary. And for some time I did. But as with any practice that has been repeated without mindfulness of the understanding or principle driving that practice I soon reverted to the old and more popular behavior of occasionally describing myself as trying. I have recently noticed in conversation I have said I was planning to try.
I am again seeing the challenge with constant trying. The act of trying is different than doing or not doing or else we would say I going to do...or not do this or that. When we say we are "going to try" to do...or not to do this or that we are acknowledging that we are struggling with it occurring or not occurring. In truth things actually happen or they do not so we are not commenting on whether or not we are going to do it, we are commenting on our perception. We are commenting on our willingness to deal with reality. We are not poised for success if we are not willing to deal with the reality of a thing. The reality is that we will do a thing or not do a thing and we will or will not be successful.
Needless to say I will again remove the word "try" from my vocabulary. But here's the thing that also need be adjusted; When I am talking about what is happening with me I will begin to choose to tell those things that I am actually doing. More than that I will be doing the thing right before me. There is something to be said for not telling everybody everything, I guess my grandmother was right(Along with Neville and several other New Age gurus). When you are talking about your vision for yourself many times you are dissipating it's clarity by factoring in other's responses. There is however a next action that you must take to get to where you are headed and whether it's a photo shoot or holding the space you are either doing it or you are not.
Imagine that the person you are talking to about your vision for yourself is there to help you with being successful in completing the next action for you to take and you're going on and on about how you're trying to hit the mark right on. Suddenly they are looking at you to see that you have your bow and arrow in hand, or they begin to ask you questions to determine if you know more than them about where the target is located.
You must see that knowing how to do something is not a prerequisite for being called to do it. Yours and other's assesment of your ability to do something does not determine your worthiness. If you don't believe me ask Moses. Or, if the bible's not your thing just think to yourself what you grew up believing one would have to be to become president of the United States and honestly compare that with who Barack Obama is.
The most important thing in our lives is to move toward the vision God has given us for our lives, with confidence. Because as long as there is breath in our bodies we can rest assured that there is still the possibility of it being our manifest reality. Yes we can.(do more than try)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Living La Vida Loca
Okay so I wake up this morning and have devotion...just like any other day....and it occurs to me that my thoughts are escaping me. "As a (wo)man thinketh..." Even as a full time artist now my schedule is off the chain. I figure at some point I thought I wouldn't have enough to do and I started to fill up my schedule with miscellaneous commitments. They are not all so miscellaneous, there is a play(in rehearsal), assisting the musical director at the church, running a spoken word project for youth, working out and then trying to create an income out of music and write and record. Oh yeah and breathe. Of course you know what lost....breathing.
I realized this morning that I hadn't taken a deep breath all day yesterday, except once on the treadmill when my back started hurting. So I stopped and committed to giving myself time to meditate twice a day, just for small amount of time or however long Spirit holds me. It is my life and I have dedicated it to God. That's so much easier said than done. For all the things I do in the name of Spirit....down to my facebook notes....I have to remember to listen. A integral part of who I am committed to being is being in the flow. I just felt my workload get a little lighter
The universe is synchronized and when we are in the flow the old saying "God will meet you halfway..." takes on a whole new meaning. In the flow we are in the space to allow ourselves to be a clearing for God to manifest in the Earth. We are the thing that God uses to get around in the world. Imagine that auto pilot is an increased presence of God as us instead of a feeling of being disconnected from what is occuring. When we talk about what is real. These bills are real, this or that disagreement is real, unemployment is real. God is real; Really everywhere, really all the power, really all there is to know. In the flow we begin to see all is well and well doesn't mean pleasant it means that God is in control, act accordingly...That's the hard part, or maybe clear when we remember what's truth.
I realized this morning that I hadn't taken a deep breath all day yesterday, except once on the treadmill when my back started hurting. So I stopped and committed to giving myself time to meditate twice a day, just for small amount of time or however long Spirit holds me. It is my life and I have dedicated it to God. That's so much easier said than done. For all the things I do in the name of Spirit....down to my facebook notes....I have to remember to listen. A integral part of who I am committed to being is being in the flow. I just felt my workload get a little lighter
The universe is synchronized and when we are in the flow the old saying "God will meet you halfway..." takes on a whole new meaning. In the flow we are in the space to allow ourselves to be a clearing for God to manifest in the Earth. We are the thing that God uses to get around in the world. Imagine that auto pilot is an increased presence of God as us instead of a feeling of being disconnected from what is occuring. When we talk about what is real. These bills are real, this or that disagreement is real, unemployment is real. God is real; Really everywhere, really all the power, really all there is to know. In the flow we begin to see all is well and well doesn't mean pleasant it means that God is in control, act accordingly...That's the hard part, or maybe clear when we remember what's truth.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Just in Case
Surely I have tried to be fair in love....and it seems to have gotten me wiser. And alone still, I am realizing it is the love in me and not me in love from which I get the most joy. So with myself I set out on a new journey to be fully self-expressed and I am reminded of my childhood dreams of doing this with a soul-mate or partner.
It doesn't make me sad but it did slow me for about an hour or a day(if I'm to be completely honest). In reflection I found the men I have had relationships were in fact perfect for me, at the time I was with them. Now, this me that I am birthing is a whole new woman, mind body and soul. This discovery begs the question is it possible to have a soul-mate that will endure the many incarnations of self that the Self expresses in this lifetime. Hmmmm. To that I must say that anything is possible and the probability is found in my own faith. Love is always what I am after. And when I have love I am after more love, because I know God is love. So to have God in every part of my life, I will have love in every part of my life. Not just something to fill the space but actual love.
I've found that love amplifies all that is good, in me and life. Imagine what it would do for world peace if we could give to each other unconditionally the same heartfelt love and compassion we have for a smiling baby.
It doesn't make me sad but it did slow me for about an hour or a day(if I'm to be completely honest). In reflection I found the men I have had relationships were in fact perfect for me, at the time I was with them. Now, this me that I am birthing is a whole new woman, mind body and soul. This discovery begs the question is it possible to have a soul-mate that will endure the many incarnations of self that the Self expresses in this lifetime. Hmmmm. To that I must say that anything is possible and the probability is found in my own faith. Love is always what I am after. And when I have love I am after more love, because I know God is love. So to have God in every part of my life, I will have love in every part of my life. Not just something to fill the space but actual love.
I've found that love amplifies all that is good, in me and life. Imagine what it would do for world peace if we could give to each other unconditionally the same heartfelt love and compassion we have for a smiling baby.
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