midnight musing

I woke up realizing that ultimately, my Love life as it were, is made up as much by the Love's I choose to release as it is the Love that I cling to. Not just the men themselves, because in this case I am speaking of men, but even the way I release and continue to hold. Everything has a quality, a texture, a color, a tone. Being a rich child of God often means that you get to do the difficult thing with ease and grace, jewel-toned even.

I imagine each of my lovers as a treasure of inestimable value that has been deposited directly in my path. I appreciate the miracle each of us is. Then move to make an appropriate relationship. Often I am overtaken by my own affinity for nice things and I prematurely adorn myself, or indulge myself with their bling. But I can never stop being the star that I would hitch my wagon to. in other words: I love hard and fast and never more than I love myself. I believe paths may cross and run alongside each other for miles and in some cases merge. Regardless, one always has their own way to go, an individualized calling of purpose, spiritual evolution and expression as unique as one's Self, and full of the infinite possibility we each are.

If it seems that I am talking in circles, I am. The concentric circles of Life. Patterns that expand and are continuous because the Source is the same. We are all one and when we release someone or some behaviour in regard to some one, we trade one type of relationship for another. If, in the movement of all these parts of ourselves and others, we are conscious of our oneness, we are consciously co-creating this Love life.

I choose Love because I have experienced all the fear I care to and much I did not care to. Also, I realize that with Love I am opening the doors and windows and becoming a magnet for my highest good to flow in, through, and as me in every situation. Fear is a possibility killer. When I am in Love, I am an expression of the touch, the taste, the feel, and the sound of Love. I have found it to be a language that is easily understood. It has a million ways to say YES.

When I am face to face with a lover who I am clear I must release again I say yes. I say yes, I will have the Love life that works for me and my lover. Yes, I am willing to let go of what I don't want for what I desire at my core. Yes, I know it is seeking me as I am seeking it. Yes, I am good. Yes, you are good. Yes, let's both have, instead of each other, what is good for us.

Also, when I am face to face with a lover that I am clear I am called to be with I say yes. Yes, I am present and available. Yes, I am intentionally being a beneficent presence in your life. Yes, I will be truthful. Yes, I agree. Yes, let's play. Yes, I choose you.

Yes is a declaration of freedom, in this way. Giving the heart freedom to be open and receptive. This heart stands in all of it's power and chooses. Of course, there is the way of obligation, the way of fear. There are always options; there are always possibilities. It is our way of being that allows us to be aware of those possibilities in every situation. When my heart swells I will not tie it down or try to repress it in any way. I open myself and let the Love flow. I find the yes. Try it.

Be with me now
In every breath and
every movement
let's know more ourselves and each other
we are here
not by accident
open the sanctuary doors and
I will pray at the altar
of the Divine
within you
I am grateful
to reach the steps of your
temple
you can trust my reverence
will not expire
I hear the call
to prayer
and remove my shoes
you do the same
and when we touch
smelling the incense
meant for us
this heaven
where tears once were
we have a birthed a
light that cannot die.