Ordinary pain

"We must make the distinction between pain and suffering. We will all experience pain in life. Suffering, however, is caused by the story we tell ourselves about the pain." Rev. Kevin Kitrell Ross

I love watching movies, all kinds. I remember watching those love stories when people would break up and the girl would be standing there dramatically still with her chin lifted and the sun setting behind her on a horizon slightly out of focus , with a solid tear rolling down whatever cheek was closest to the camera. Doesn't the thought of it just make your heart swell? I would be watching thinking, "What is she thinking ?"

My break-ups never look like that. Or, I should say, I never look like that going through a break up. I have two reactions: One is the absence of reaction, meaning I don't feel anything, either from repression of emotion or just plain lack of interest. In other words I've moved on. The other reaction is messy. Mascara everywhere, front of my shirt soaking wet, eyes swollen, nose running, heart wrenching, high drama. I just indulge my every feeling and leave no angst unexpressed. And I should clarify, by breakups I mean any sudden separation, especially the undesirable, or unexplained. The truth is , breakups aren't really that bad. They are kinda like all the other things we might anticipate happening and choose how and who we will be in and through them. What would it be like if we chose Love?

I thought about it facing this last breakup and chose to indulge Spirit instead of the crazy lady I usually become. "In the space between when God said, 'wrong way,' and gave me the next direction." I chose to just be in the Love that I know is available to me anytime and anyplace. Going and coming is inevitable,okay maybe just the going(lol). At any rate, we get to be with ourselves no matter the traffic. It serves us well to know just who we are spending all this time with. It is all the time we have.

If we know who we are and the Love that lives in, as, and through us, we can know that is true for everyone else. Not only that, we then become clear about what we have to offer and just how magnificent we are. Enter Peace

In this inner stillness and sureness of Divine Love everywhere a breakup is like running out of ice cream. Moving on with the assurance there is more to have, but, "Awww.... that's over." Maybe that's what she's thinking.